As with any company which thrives on the functionality of its wares, it is of the essence to drop the bullshit and cut to the point. When it comes to things you stick in, on, or about your junk, there is no room for vagaries. Read on for Babeland's nuts-and-bolts of sexy safety ("the asshole is a superhighway"), plus bonus consumer trends ("dude lube Tuesdays.") We love this edition. 

Office Dictionary: Babeland. Image 1.

Babeland – a Seattle and New York-based sex shop offering an extensive array of wares as well as an educational website.

You can't go from zero
to penis

— The anal protocol

EXAMPLE: We encourage customers to start with a finger, anal beads or small dildo and work up to penetration with a penis rather than just go for it. That can hurt and if you go slow, relax and use lots of lube, it can feel very, very good.

Daytime dicks vs nighttime dicks

— Soft pack dildos vs. sex toy dildos

EXAMPLE: Soft packs are dildos that someone without a penis can wear under their clothes, aka “daytime dicks”. Nighttime dicks are dildos that present like an erect penis and are used for penetration.

Dude-lube Tuesday

— On Babeland shopper habits 

EXAMPLE: For some reason, lots of men shop for lube on Tuesday’s. This is actually insider talk that we would use after selling lube to a male presenting person on a Tuesday.

Takin’ somebody to lube school

— A stroll through aisle two

EXAMPLE: Babeland has an amazing assortment of lube, way beyond what you would find at a drugstore. Most customers don’t know a lot about it and our staff love to talk about lube, it’s such an amazing product! 

All cats are grey in the dark

— On aesthetics

EXAMPLE: When a customer doesn’t like the color of a sex toy.

You don’t need it, but you want it.

— On consumer frenzy 

EXAMPLE: When a customer is conflicted about wanting to buy so many things.

______ (Vaseline, Crisco, olive oil) is not lubricant

— Word to the wise

EXAMPLE: We say this all the time! Cook with oil, moisturize with Vaseline, have sex with lube.

Don’t mix butts

— You need to boil your anal toys between uses even if you really love somebody.

The asshole is a super highway, the vagina is a cul de sac.

— On the anatomy of cavities

EXAMPLE: Anything that goes in the butt needs to have a flared base.

“Ask your mom”

— Advice for crank callers

EXAMPLE: We say this way more often than we’d like.

   

  ILLUSTRATION:  Nikita Treptsov