After six leading FIFA officials were arrested on corruption charges earlier this week, the organization has voted in Sepp Blatter as President this morning. Blatter, 79, has already served four, four-year terms, and will now serve his fifth. Since FIFA has been under investigation for racketeering and bribery charges, Blatter has faced requests to resign from UK Prime Minister David Cameron among others.

FIFA re-elects "villain" president. Image 1.

In recognition of this (expected) election outcome, let's take a look at a section of Blatter's 2013 speech in which he describes what FIFA is not, and in doing so, perfectly (and poetically) describes everything that FIFA has turned out to be:


There are those who will tell you that football is just a heartless, money-spinning game or just a pointless kick about on the grass.

There are those who will tell you that FIFA is just a conspiracy, a scam, accountable to nobody and too powerful for anyone to resist.

There are those who will tell you of the supposed sordid secrets that lie deep in our Bond villain headquarters in the hills above Zurich, where we apparently plot to exploit the unfortunate and the weak.

They would have you believe that I sit in my office with a sinister grin, gently stroking the chin of an expensive, white Persian cat as my terrible sidekicks scour the earth to force countries to host the World Cup and to hand over all of their money.

GIF: Rhett Jones/H&F